Counting down the days….

It is just twenty-five days till Hami does his Ironman event. He is starting to feel nervous and apprehensive and of course he continually wonders if he has trained enough. He is looking pretty hot though  ( an observation I am allowed to make!!) as he is tanned from cycling and swimming and looks so healthy. He has really worked hard these last few weeks – last weekend he did a five hour cycle and this weekend a three hour run so all is looking good. Tickets are booked, accommodation sorted and things are good to go!! A couple of weeks ago his swimsuit ripped right across his backside while he was trying to get into it – disaster for us as  a good few hundred dollars are not in our budget – everything is strictly planned. I have to say I LOVE google – I googled repairing wetsuits and hey presto a bit of stormsure glue and wetsuit is repaired and strong as ever.

Beautiful Lake Taupo – see you in 23 days!!

We are all settling back into routine – Aaron happily goes off to school everyday and Zoe is enjoying High School ( she’s even stopped complaining about wearing a dress!!). The person feeling all this the most is me – I feel lost at home without Aaron here – I really miss him after having him with me all these years – empty nest syndrome has hit me hard!! Nevertheless I will get through it sniff, sniff…

I have completed editing my book and now I am running through it again to iron out all kinks before I give it to a couple of people to read – man it’s hard reading the same thing over and over – I must have read it at least five times now – although there have been a number of changes along the way. Right now I am going to give God glory for this book – it may never be viewed as literary brilliance, but to me it has been inspired from above and I have learned so much and my thinking has been shifted many times through this journey – thank you Jesus – you are incredibly generous, gracious and beautiful – I do love you so much!

We are on a new journey ourselves at the moment -God has been stirring our hearts the last six months as to what the church looks like – we haven’t always liked what we have seen at times. We are questioning the whole structure of church meetings – how relational are they really and did Jesus mean for us to build huge congregations where we sing a few songs and then one man gets up and instructs us all how to behave and interpret scripture ? – when I think of it like that I feel sure that is not how it is meant to be – a couple of meetings a week that are supposed to sustain people. We need to be the church and do life with people – not in a structured context but with integrity, reality and love above everything. Just a journey we are on personally – I don’t despise church – how can I? – it’s not a place you go to worship – it’s the people of God and I love them. I would love to see greater freedom and less religion in us all though. I am excited at where we are going in the next season – I don’t see leadership as the highest calling in His body – I would rather be free just to be myself and impact people as I go through life – it’s been a full circle journey and one I am loving so much. I have determined in my heart to hear Him and Him only for my dreams and desires – I can’t allow myself to ever be manipulated or coerced into being who I don’t want to be – not even if there is a prophetic word –  unless I myself have heard from God directly first and it is a confirmation of that revelation. This sounds a bit silly doesn’t it? – you would think it sounds obvious, but when you are stuck in a structure of church  and a belief system for years and years, you begin to believe some crazy things. It’s time to air out the closet and let the fresh air of God in to dust out ugly cobwebs and the clothes I have been hanging onto for years (you know, the ones you think you may fit into someday again) need to be  thrown out – time for living in the revelation I have now!! I do realise of course that some people will think we have been deceived and gone off the rails but frankly I am over that too!! Others have told me they believe I have never recovered from the hurts we went through years ago in leading a church  (see my Journey blog posts) but I am happy to let them believe that if it makes them feel better – in my heart I know what we are hearing from God is not tied to that – I no longer feel the need to defend myself on that front.  Actually I feel freer than I have in years – I see our dreams coming to fruition this year – no more laying down our hopes for causes. In all this we love Jesus more than ever, we love His church (not just a church) and we want to make a difference wherever and however He shows us.

Reverse Thinking

This video clip is amazing – I get tearful every time I see it – it is so incredible how our thinking when reversed can mean something so different – truly brilliant!! I guarantee you will be blessed!

 

 

So much has happened this weekend and I have felt a little bit emotionally tender. A good friend of ours (someone we haven’t seen in years) passed away on Friday – he was only in his 50’s and hubby and I were really part of their family in our early married days. We had such fun with them and their kids were a bit like our kids before we had our own. We were like one big extended family. So hearing that he had died really saddened us and brought back memories. It made me realise again looking at this video clip that life is short and we never know the day or time we may be whisked away – it makes me more determined to live out the kingdom (not religion!!! –  I hate religion and Jesus did too!!) because many people think the way the guy in the video clip thought – WHY? Because they don’t know what Jesus is really like – they have a preconceived idea of religion and salvation based on what they were taught or through their experience -thinking they have to give up their lives to live a miserable enslaved existence – not true – the Jesus I know is fun and passionate – He played with the kids, laughed, wept when a friend died, turned water into wine at a wedding ( yes get your head around that one) and he enjoyed life – he hung out with those that society shunned – tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers and more. He brought hope, love and acceptance to them. Why has the church become so staid and boring – following religious traditions and rites and making Jesus into someone the world doesn’t want – someone they believe is judging the world through earthquakes and tsunamis and more – that is not the Jesus and Father we know. He is loving beyond measure – the fact that He sent His most precious son to take on our mistakes and pay for them proves that beyond doubt. If people could just realise that He doesn’t want to turn you into a robot and suck your life from you, but to just know you and you Him and to enjoy your life as He intended, it would free a lot more people to want His love and to receive it. We need reverse thinking in the church – reversal of all the law that we place on ourselves and others – it is by grace we are saved – rules and regulations only bring people into bondage!!

My Mom celebrated her birthday yesterday and again it reminded me that every time we celebrate our entry into this world it is nothing compared to how He celebrates over us. If we rejoice in people’s  lives then how much more does He rejoice over the ones He created – the ones he made in His image and likeness. Mom said they had a wonderful brunch for her birthday – I like to think that all of heaven were seated at their banquet table having brunch too celebrating my Mom’s birthday and her life and all the people she has blessed in her lifetime. We don’t serve an impersonal God – He knows every thought we think, every hair on our head, every struggle we go through and every joy we experience – He knows you, but do you know Him?

Loving Touch…

Aren’t these little faces precious? It always amazes me that when you see photos of third world children they are smiling and joyful despite the hardships of their lives – the lack of food and water, shelter, loving care and material provision. I remember always seeing little faces in South Africa when we travelled through what was then known as the Transkei and the children would always smile and wave as you passed by, they would be playing games with a piece of wire or a car constructed from wire and the carefree way they played always spoke volumes to me. I love seeing my kids blessed and delighted when they receive gifts and as a parent it warms my heart, but I never want them to be insensitive or ignorant of others that are suffering and dying, not by their own choice but because of the circumstances they were born into.Hubby was telling me that the kids in India are so appreciative of even the smallest gift of a pencil or a sticker – to  them it is a treasure. I see why Jesus loved children – He always made time for them and he blessed them and loved them – He even reminded us that to see the kingdom of heaven we need to come as little children – throwing away our logical reasoning and linear thinking and replacing it with honest devotion and simple faith. That is where I want to be – simply trusting Him and listening to His voice – doing that which He tells me to and not feeling pressured to perform tasks He has not called me to. These beautiful faces remind me again how loved we are and how precious life is.

This photo is of a friend of mine from church who really knows how to love people – especially children and one of our youth leaders.

 

A year today…

This time last year we arrived on the shores of Australia – I can’t believe we have been here one year already. In that time we have seen God’s favour on us, been blessed   beyond measure, had our lives restored and discovered freedom as His children. What a great year it has been. Hubby is not here today – he is in India with a team from our church ministering to villages and praying for the sick and broken. This was a dream of ours when we came here and in one year God has made this a reality for us. He is preaching tonight at a crusade and so we are trusting for many to receive Jesus as their Saviour and to experience God’s love and power. We also work with an orphanage in Guntur where we help to sow finance and where we go and bless the children and share God’s love with them. Finally I feel as though we are making a little dent in helping the needy – I can’t wait for my turn to go!!

At the orphanage with all the kids.

Two  of the youth praying for the sick.

First night at the crusade.

Hubby looking a bit jet-lagged.

Hubby catching up with friends who now live in India.

A Story of Love

He waited, craning his neck, looking at the horizon that seemed to shimmer and dance in the heat. For many days and weeks he had looked and waited, hoping and eagerly anticipating the figure he so longed to see. His heart ached again as he looked at the empty horizon and a tear trickled down his weathered face. A piece of him was missing and he so wanted it back. He would never give up hope of seeing her beloved face again. Day after day he looked and waited, wishing her back to him. As he sadly shook his head and began to turn away, movement caught his eye. He looked up quickly, his heart somersaulting in his chest. A butterfly flitted by and his disappointment was etched on his countenance. Then he saw her. She looked tired and weak dragging her feet like leaden weights over the dusty hill. Her posture spoke volumes. He saw the defeated slump of her shoulders and how her head drooped in shame and failure and his heart swelled with love for her. She had come home. Quickly he ran from the homestead and out onto the dusty road that wound its way up the hill. He ran as though his very life depended on it. As he appraoched her he could smell the stench of unworthiness and the fear in her, but none of it mattered to Him. She could not look him in the eye and she cast her eyes downward at the stony ground like a child waiting to be chastised. She waited for his words of anger and rejection but they didn’t come. When she looked up into his face she saw the face of love. He flung his arms around her in a love embrace, nestling his face into her neck and kissing her tenderly, breathing in all the fear, rejection, self-loathing and shame and replacing it with unconditional acceptance. Her tears flowed down onto his shoulder as she asked for forgiveness and promised she would try harder and would work harder to make the relationship work. He listened for a brief while and then placed his finger over her lips to silence her. He carried her the last few steps up to the homestead and called for his servants to bring her his robe and his treasured possessions. As she looked in confusion up to him he smiled the smile of pure love and acceptance. Her heart broke again and she cried, “I’m sorry Daddy, I’ve let you down.” He wiped her tears away, hugged her and said “Welcome home my daughter – you could never disappoint me for I love you more than life itself and everything I have is yours. As his words sank into her mind and into her heart she felt secure and safer than she had in a long time. She was home and looking into the eyes of love.

The last few years God has been making this a reality to me as I read the story of the Prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32. In a sense I have walked this very road, and even though it has not been a road of rebellion and walking away from God, I have understood this journey simply because I have not understood the Father’s love for me and how precious I am to Him. I had a  wrong perception of God and viewed Him as being stern and so Holy that my mistakes would require Him to judge me and for me to have to work harder to receive His acceptance and love. This left me feeling unworthy and feeling guilty or never good enough to please Him when actually all He wanted was for me to come to him and receive the unconditional love that He has for me. This is a journey I have learned and now that His love has become real to me, I never want to be anywhere else other than His presence. He feels the same way about you and He really wants a relationship with you – it’s not about rules that have to be followed and laws that will keep you in bondage – it is all about a creator who wants to know you and wants to know your struggles. How he loves us and longs for us to want Him. It is not a sign of weakness to need Him – rather it takes great courage and trust and admit that we need Him and his love in our lives.

Rainbow promises…

 

Where have I been you may ask? Well I can tell you that I haven’t been doing a thousand christmassy projects as you may have been thinking – in fact the last week has been a blur of family activity and madness. I have been covering diaries – hubby needed two as gifts for fellow staff and the girls needed their gifts, so I have squeezed those activities into my “spare” time. Then we  have had school functions, school reports, church meetings and hosting and in between all this I went to a job audition. Yes, you heard correct – I said audition. Well that was a first for me and rather interesting too. I have applied for a job as a performing arts teacher in child care centres. This programme is called Jump for Joy and I would be required to teach half hour sessions in centres to children from 10 months old to 5 year olds. Hubby always did think Charlie from the Hi 5 team was quite cute – move over Charlie, here comes Caroline!!! (Charlie is female in case you are scratching your head at this point!!). Anyway the competition was quite intimidating – dance teachers, preschool teachers and more. Driving home from my audition, the rain came down in buckets. As I was making my way on the motorway the most magnificent half rainbow with really intense colours lit up the sky in front of me. I followed it home and as I got within a few streets from home it became an intense full rainbow – it actually looked like it arched right over our home. I felt such peace and joy because to me it was a reminder that God’s love and favour is on us and that His promises always come to pass. I actually don’t mind if the job never happens – I would thoroughly enjoy it, but I felt that if this doesn’t work out then His provision and blessing is still coming to us and it will be another way. I love it when God speaks through His creation – it is so wondrous and glorious. The whisperings He has been saying in my ear are becoming raging waters in my heart and spirit. God has rainbow promises for each of us – the question is whether we believe Him – don’t let those dreams die!!

Christmas Fun…

It is coming up to the festive season again and I have been reminded again of how much joy there can be at this time of year. Christmas carols blare out from speakers in the shopping malls and everywhere you look there are colourful decorations. For many years we celebrated Christmas with gifts for one another, but there was never any of the christmassy things that went with it. We never had a tree with all the decorations for the kids unless we visited family who had a tree. The reason for this when I look at it now is so ridiculous that I almost catch myself giggling at it. Hubby and I went through a phase ( a long phase) where we believed that Christmas trees were a pagan tradition and so we never had one. Our kids never believed in father Christmas as this man was too weird for us. Yes, our poor kids missed out a lot of Christmas fun. Well we are making up for lost time. When hubby and I went through a whole mindset change with new revelation of God’s grace and love and His kingdom, we began to see that there were many areas in our lives that were not free – we saw religion there (ouch!!!) and it horrified us. When we looked at Christmas last year we decided that we didn’t care whether trees were pagan or not – God looked at our hearts and that we were free in Him to have these traditions without them affecting how spiritual or righteous we were.  So for the last couple of years our children have decorated the tree and enjoyed all the things that go with Christmas. They were so excited this year that they wanted to decorate the tree early and really enjoy it as last year we were in the middle of moving and our tree was only up a short while. So Christmas has come early in the Hemingway home – our tree is up and being enjoyed by all. What have we learned in the last while? We have learned that Jesus is not concerned with the little irrelevant things that we perceive makes us holy. He is concerned with having a relationship with us that is like a friend and a brother. All the rest just puts us in religious bondage!!

Health update…..

My test results are in and it has been confirmed – I have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes!! I know I have been putting on a brave face, but the truth is that when the doctor gave me the news, I felt a bit gutted!!  I have known deep down that this is probably  true, but having it stated again still comes as a shock especially when he proceeded to tell me that no matter how strict I am on my diet, I will most likely need medication and then ultimately insulin to control it for the rest of my life. I can cope with a tablet or two, but the thought of having to inject myself daily as I had to do when pregnant is too much for me to comprehend. I don’t want to go there again. Not only that, but now I have to be sent off for a number of other checks – for kidneys, heart and eyes and feet – the list goes on and I feel like a lab rat. I am sorry to vent – just having a quick self – pity moment before I kick these feelings up the butt and put my faith in our God who is bigger than all these little issues and is the designer of my body – and perfectly designed at that. The diet change will definitely be good for me – but I see God doing more – it is so hard when doctors pronounce things over you that is truth but also feels like a declaration of your condition for the rest of your future. My mind was screaming in my head as he declared the need for blood pressure medication in the future (my blood pressure has always been good!!) and greater diabetes medication, “No I reject those words, I have Jesus in my life and that doesn’t have to be the case. Stop saying that over me!!” All the while I was smiling at the man trying not to let my emotions spill over. Sometimes it is hard to live in heavenly realms while on the earth – the world doesn’t get it …. but they will when they see my complete healing from this disease that God never intended me to have. So for now I will run in the little rat maze and do all the tests that are needed, but I am rejoicing already for the time they look confounded at how my body has changed and is restored – as a daughter of the king, I expect no less!!

Dreaming…

If I could dream a little about what I would see my life like if I could have anything, this is what it would be. I would live in a country farmhouse with a wrap around porch that looked over the fields and to the mountains (because I have always loved mountains). I would have chickens scratching in the garden (which would be full of country flowers of course) and fresh eggs for breakfast each day. I would have a vegetable patch that would feed us and a big swing in the backyard hanging from a tall tree for the kids. Life would be simple and living off the land in greater measure. There would be family time that would be quality and technology (except for my netbook which I am very attached to) would be limited. Sunsets would be appreciated as we sat on the porch with our sundowners. We did have this dream briefly a few years ago, but only for a short while.

The reality is that as much as I dream of a country life, we are called to be here in Melbourne at this season in God. I know that we could live happily that way, but God has called us to get back into church leadership and as much as I have dug my heels in and fought God on this, I have lost the battle (how surprising!!) He has spoken to my heart and urged me on to go back to the place that once tore us to shreds. Our circumstances are so different now and the leadership we are under are incredible, so I feel very secure. So dreaming is all it shall be – I will settle for what I am blessed with – a home that is like a big farmhouse, and a 10 minute drive which puts me in the country with little effort. As for the mountains….. well we’ll keep dreaming!!! To find out more about what is happening with us, keep checking my blogs (4maze and Fresh Encounters) to see  where God is leading us – more on this soon!!

Our Deepest Fear…

This is amazing – written by Marianne Williamson in her book “A Return To Love”

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”