Letting go….

The last couple of weeks have been a bit of a challenge for Hubby and I. It has been a time of settling things in my heart and learning to let go as far as my children are concerned. All these years we have based our parenting on our church values of what we believe is right and wrong. I am not saying this is a bad thing – in fact many of these values I still believe in and hold dear not because of religious reasons any more but because a lot of them make sense to protect and keep our kids safe. But at the same time I realize that a lot of what we believed and enforced as parents had the potential to make our children rebellious and resentful. I am just grateful that this never happened in major ways. However since we have decided to parent more with grace in our lives – giving our older children more opportunity to make choices and decisions for themselves it has become harder for me to get rid of the old mindset of “just do as you are told, we are the parents and you are the kids, you live in our home so respect the rules etc.”

Goodbye 2013…. been a great year!!

It’s 10 pm on New Years Eve and I just had to squeeze in one more post before the year ends. This year has been one of the best years I have had and I have so enjoyed it, but in saying that it has also been one of the  years that I have had to lay down my own personal time and projects. Don’t get me wrong – I am loving the two foster boys we care for but going back to nappies and toddler tantrums when I’m well into my forties has been somewhat of an adjustment. My goal for 2014 (among the many others I have) is to try and get the balance between  caring for these boys and making some me creativity time.

The end of this year has been great – we took the first week of our holidays and went to Anglesea which is about two hours South West of Melbourne along the Great Ocean Road (famous for the 12 Apostles which we visited two years ago – photo below to remind you).

 

We camped and had a great time as school had not yet officially finished so the campsite was quiet and we weren’t surrounded by numerous campers. The camp grounds had amazing facilities and our tents were about three hundred metres from the beach and the river. Sleeping to the sound of waves at night was most relaxing. The sunsets were particularly beautiful.

We also celebrated Bennies first birthday (photos on my Sweet Hope Chronicles blog – password required) and it was a delight to see him enjoying his birthday cake with abandon. We enjoyed swimming  and many cycle rides along the river and cliffs.

 

The little village of Anglesea was also great fun to shop at. I didn’t have to go without my fix of Op shopping either as there were two amazing  little second hand shops to visit. I managed to get myself a beautiful pair of sandals and a framed Paul Gauguin print which I love.

 

The kids had great fun bouncing on a giant inflated pillow and  playing mini golf too. The park had some super wood sculptures of sea creatures which meant we could have some fun taking photos.

 

Christmas was spent at home where we celebrated with a Christmas Eve dinner. Toasts and thanks were given by each of the children. We have been truly blessed to have such superb kids. It never ceases to amaze me how giving and generous our kids are. They have been incredible this year as we have welcomed two new faces into our hearts and lives. It has not always been easy on them but they have come through and all pulled their weight in helping to integrate the boys into our family.

Our kids have also excelled in their repective areas of study and work. Michaela will make an outstanding nurse/midwife and Ethan is starting to show keen interest in his Personal Fitness endeavours.

Mostly this year has been one where we have moved away from our religious efforts of being involved in structured church and leadership. We have explored other ways of connecting with like minded people and building true friendships and relationships out of the confines of a church meeting and it has been very refreshing and rewarding. We have felt freedom to question our theology and beliefs and to throw out the things that we believe have manipulated and controlled us over the years. Mostly it has been fun getting to know Jesus away from all the religious influences. This has been the year I have learned to love people who are different to me and to not judge them for their lifestyle choices. This has been a big thing for me coming out of a system that looks at people as either in or out ( you are in if you believe like I do and out if you are an unbeliever). Just believing that I ever thought that way is so ridiculous to me now. I am discovering that there is so much more to being a blessing in our community than by simply professing I am a christian and going to church each week. I have discovered the reality of actually doing – of getting up daily and loving two little boys who have been abandoned by their parents, dealing with their emotions and self-harming issues and I feel more fulfilled and alive than I ever did  as a pastor for ten years. I guess what I’m trying to say is that making a difference doesn’t require me to be super-spiritual  – it just requires ordinary me to open my heart and hands and just be willing to help and love people where I can – it’s that simple and yet it has taken me years to work it out.

2014 is going to be a great year – I can feel it! This is going to be the year we are living in blessing and with great joy – many dreams and creative ventures being fulfilled. I am looking forward to it with my amazing and beautiful family alongside me. I wish you all an equally fabulous 2014.

 

Coffee, the country and life as we know it …..

Believe it or not this post has been sitting in drafts for two months waiting to be posted but with two kids under the age of three I find my blogging time has been sweetly sabotaged. Even now I  am typing this with one hand to get it done – I guess I get full marks for perseverance.

During the last holidays (hubby is a teacher) we often tried to sneak off for a coffee when the two new additions to our family (our foster boys) went off to access with their parents. It is our time alone to dream and chat and connect. Usually our bunch are not up and awake when we sneak out as they tend to sleep in during their holidays. We headed up into the hills to a small village called Emerald.  It has such a lovely small friendly community feel about it and the simple country lifestyle appeals to me more and more. Hubby and I often joke that when we are older and all the kids have left we could end up in a caravan touring the countryside (I think I get that from my Mom and Dad). Anyway I digress as I dream….. we found this amazing coffee shop and bakery in Emerald. I can’t believe we haven’t discovered it sooner. It was the hub of the village – the atmosphere was wonderful and buzzing but we just loved the decor. We acted like total tourists and were snapping photos of everything inside. This is my kind of decor – a bit of industrial, a bit of rustic charm, a bit of country meets vintage – I LOVED everything!!!

We couldn’t believe it when our coffee arrived. They came in these glass jars with handles – how cute and original is that? We sat on an old leather brown couch and enjoyed our coffee,

Three days later we headed back for another fix – this time armed with our laptops – I could get used to writing in a place like this. As usual the place was cooking. The food is good there too but really it is the atmosphere that makes the place so wonderful. Here are a few of the snaps I took – not great photos as they were taken on hubby’s iphone but you get the idea.

We are rapidly heading for the end of the year and my head is spinning at all there is to do before we get there. Michaela has completed her first year of Uni which makes me feel ancient in some ways and Ethan is going into Year 12 next year. We are delighted that he can do his Certificate 3 in Fitness while completing his Yr12 as this will be a good start for him.

I have booked our camping holiday for a week in December and looking so forward to getting away from it all. Camping with a baby who will probably be walking by then and an almost  3 year old will certainly have its challenges and keep us busy, but hopefully some sun, sea and a change of scenery will make us feel relaxed nonetheless.

I have had the urge to tackle some creative tasks again and Michaela has done her first renovation project which turned out so well. She has wanted an old roll top desk and eventually we found an old one that needed some work. She did a great job – I will hopefully have a chance to take some photos this holiday.

Then I have been itching to paint my boring old hat and coat stand for a while – eventually decided on a bright green paint and I am delighted with the results. Aaron (my youngest) referred to me as arty farty the other day – well I guess I am a bit  – still love the green though – now it stands out against the wooden cupboard doors instead of blending into it.

This is how it looked before:

This is how it looks now:

Yes you probably noticed that I painted the dresser too – was getting a bit bored with the wood look!!

Summer is showing itself tantalizingly every now and again and I am so looking forward to it – there are so many reasons I love it so much – sun just makes me happy – Hubby and I were commenting how even the kids come to life when the weather is beautiful – they get outdoors and actually play basketball/soccer with one another and it is so good to see them doing this as often teens have a tendency to hive off in their own rooms attached to their technology devices. I am just loving watching them as it won’t be too many years left till they fly the coop and we won’t have them with us. The days are longer and even that cheers me up. Our kitchen vegetable garden is looking fantastic – we are enjoying some broccoli and lettuce at the moment but soon hope to have tomatoes, capsicums,egg plant, spinach, beans, strawberries as well as some corn. Our flowers are looking really pretty too.

Michaela has been taking driving lessons – we decided it was the best way to go as we have not got the time to spend every day teaching her. Already she is making nice progress and as soon as she has finished her lessons we will be able to get her hours up on the roads. It takes about five years to get your full license here in Victoria – a long process!! Recently we bought a new little car as our Nissan Maxima needed a new clutch – it would have cost us about $2000 to repair and being 17 years old we really felt it wasn’t worth the spend. Instead we have bought a very fuel efficient Hyundai Getz – this is also a perfect little car for Michaela to learn in and runs on the sniff of an oil rag.

So that is all my catch up news – not much has happened in two months (which is a good thing as then this post would never have been finished!!) – better start my next post as it may be awhile before I get it posted. So from me, enjoy summer!!

Day at the Zoo

During the holidays we decided to take all the kids to Werribee Open Range Zoo. This is not the city zoo but further out and more widespread so that the animals have more of their natural habitat to roam in than your typical zoo. This zoo is also mostly designed to give an African experience  although there are other animals too such as Bison and Mongolian ponies. Obviously the bigger cats are contained otherwise they would have a problem but the other African wildlife (like giraffes,zebras, rhinos etc) are out in what they have made a savannah land. We had such a great day – the weather was amazing for a winters day – sunny and warm. The park is designed with reeds and walkways that have African style huts and bridges in various places and there are even bush noises that play through speakers as you walk down the paths so the kids enjoyed hearing warthog noises or crickets.

The two year old we are fostering (Jay – *not his real name) was so excited at hearing all the noises. He is so curious that he wanted to take off into the bush all the time. He loved the old Landrover at the lion pen and spent more time climbing in and out of it than actually looking at the lions. The lions were very lazy (as lions are when they aren’t hunting and so we didn’t get a close up look at them) but the cheetahs were very co-operative and walked up to the glass right in front of us.

We all climbed on a safari bus and did the drive around the park – it was lovely seeing giraffes, zebras, rhinos and ostriches again. The most exciting thing for Hubby and I though was seeing the Guinea Fowl roaming around the park – that really made it feel more African. Michaela loved the Meerkats and Jay loved the two baby crocs they had in a big tank.

This little outing reminded me of our trip to the Kruger National Park in 2007. Aaron was just 18 months old then but he already enjoyed looking at the animals then. I dug out some of my old photos of that trip for memories sake.

We stayed at Lower Sabie camping – it was lovely.

The kids and Hubby loved the park – Hubby had never visited it in all his years of living in South Africa so it was a real treat, Even Aaron enjoyed “game spotting” through the binoculars.

We saw some amazing animals – glad to see lion and elephants and buffalo.

We stopped some mornings at the picnic area for a delicious breakfast cooked by Mom and Dad. The kids loved looking at the insects as there are very few insects in New Zealand where we were living at the time. The kids even saw a couple of snakes.

The only member of our family to see a hyena was Michaela – she came face to face with one at the one lookout spot – boy did she run fast when it growled at her – she still talks about it to this day.

This was a memorable time for us a s a family and one day I would love to do it again. Going to Weribee Zoo was a reminder of life back in South Africa and of the things that make it such a unique place. I honestly can say that I feel I have been so blessed to have been able to live in three very different but very beautiful countries.

Coal Creek

A bout two weeks ago we decided to head out to a town called Korumburra which is about an hours drive from home to visit a place called Coal Creek. This is a replica of a mining town with the original old buildings and set up for the coal mine. The best thing about it is that entry is free which is always a bonus when you are a large family. There is the old steam train and usually it runs but the day we went it was not happening. You can ride around the park on the train for a very reasonable fee. Jay, our little foster child (2) is crazy about trains and so it was a treat for him to climb on the train and see it.

Michaela also loved the village as she is a history junkie and loves all things old so she enjoyed seeing all the homes and shops set up with old things. The favourite store for everyone of course was the General Store which was crammed full of amazing goodies. We were able to buy a jar of good old mint humbugs which we all enjoyed sharing. This brought back so many memories for me – somehow I always think of my grandparents when I think of humbugs as we used to raid their tin when we were kids.

The other fun thing in the park was the emus which were tame – sometimes a bit too friendly I think as they would end up getting right in your face and you would have to push them away. Jay found it fun terrorising the ducks by chasing them everywhere. He also tried a few times to find mud puddles to jump in so we had to watch him carefully. Baby B (our other foster child) slept most of the way around the park which was a good thing as the rest of us took turns chasing the toddler.

Here are some photos of the outing:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Adventures with Nurse Michaela and the Tooth Fairy

It was lovely to start the day off without the mad rush I usually have. Hubby didn’t have to be at work till later, Ethan was off school today as he is not writing an exam, Aaron is also off school due to a pupil-free day for teachers to write reports (why didn’t they have those when I was teaching in SA) so all I had to do was drop Michaela at the local hospital by 6:50 am and get Zoe to school by 9 am. Not having to make numerous school lunches was also a bonus.

Michaela has done her first week of Clinical placement at the Casey Hospital working on the Surgical ward – she has thoroughly enjoyed herself and is confident she has chosen the right career. We were having a chuckle that she can handle body fluids and other gross things but freaks out if a bug or spider comes across her path. Watching her crossing the parking lot the other day left me with a lump in my throat – she looked so grown up in her uniform with her stethoscope and other equipment around her neck. I suddenly realized that she is an adult now and not my little girl any more – where have the last 19 years gone?

Aaron lost another tooth yesterday and looks so cute with the top front one missing. He left his tooth in his bedside draw and was delighted that the Tooth Fairy left him a note and some money – although he did comment that the Tooth Fairy’s handwriting looked remarkably like mine. He wrote a thank you note on the back and has put that in his drawer. The funny thing is that Aaron knows there is no Tooth Fairy as we have always paid him when he lost a tooth – I guess going to school and listening to other kids has made him want a bit of fantasy in his life so I will indulge him.

Ethan has been working part time at the local butcher to make some pocket money and he is doing very well for himself. He manages to buy himself all the nice extras that we can’t and even loans me the odd buck now and again (like the Tooth Fairy money as my purse was empty).

Zoe plods through school – she works hard when she has to but does it with moans – school work is not her favourite thing although she does it really well when she applies herself -I guess I was a bit like that in High School – I never really worked that hard until something was due then I would pull an all-nighter – many art assignments done in the twilight hours.

Hami is under pressure at work – he has exams and reports to get done over the long weekend here – he has such great work hours, but honestly the management where he works are absolutely anal at the best of times and treat their staff as though they are children. It is very annoying and makes for an unpleasant work environment.

The fostering continues well and I keep updating my blog Sweet Hope Chronicles as to our progress when I can. Today is court day again and so we wait for the outcome of that.

Otherwise I have had absolutely no time to do anything even remotely creative in the last few weeks – just keeping up with basic chores has been a mission. We have a long weekend (thanks to the Queen’s birthday – which isn’t even now) but  pleased that we will have some time to relax – the weather forecast sounds very promising and so hope to get out and about on the weekend. That’s all for now – over and out!!!

Busy month

May has been a busy month indeed with so much happening. Our move to a new home didn’t happen as the house we really liked was taken off the rental listings much to our disappointment. However we have celebrated two birthdays this month and Mothers Day. On Michaela’s 19th birthday we got a phone call to ask us if we would be prepared to foster two brothers for the night. We ended up with a two year old and a 5 month old baby. This was our first placement since we have been accredited and it was quite special that it happened on Michaela’s birthday. Nineteen years before I had given birth to my first born and now we were getting our first foster cjhildren on the same day.

Needless to say it has been a crazy few weeks. I have started a new blog for our fostering stories so that I don’t have to post them all here. You can read about the last ten days at Sweet Hope Chronicles.

We also celebrated Aaron’s seventh birthday last week with a Club Penguin Birthday Cake and a small party for him and a friend. He got to have a special day off school on the Tuesday to go on an outing with his friend to a place called Bounce which is a room full of trampolines and play equipment.

I am very aware that I need to give special attention to Aaron so that he doesn’t feel side-lined with new kids coming into the family and so far he has been so good.

We have sectioned off his room so that he can escape from the toddler to have some time to play his lego.

A few weeks ago we also visited Birdsland for a walk and a picnic – it is such a lovely a lovely spot and not too full of people. We enjoyed the sunshine as it has been rather scarce

the last few weeks.

Aaron also had his first sports day ever at school. It was so nice that Hami could come and watch some of his events as he finished work early that day. He did so well too paticipating in hurdles, long jump, discus, shotput and sprints. He was so proud of his ribbon he got at the end. Hami and I commented on how totally uncoordinated some kids are and how under-developed their gross-motor skills are.

Mothers Day was extremely busy this year.  Aaron gave me a beautiful mug that he chose at his school’s mothers day stall. Ethan actually made me a card without being nagged by anyone to do so – he even got a few tears out of me with what he wrote.Usually Iget “Thanks for doing our washing and cleaning and caring for us etc etc.” This is what I got this year,

“Dear Mum,

You are amazing!

I love you so much, thank you for everything and have an awesome day today!

Love Ethan”

Now, that coming from a teenage boy who only used to grunt or growl at us is quite incredible – I love that boy so much. That is all  I have time for now – baby to feed and toddler to entertain as well as some household chores to do. Back to business.

Have an awesome day everyone!!

Waiting…..

This has been a frustrating week – it seems we have been waiting all week for news. The problem with waiting is that it leaves a slightly nervous, butterfly in the tummy feeling tinged with nausea. It is a difficult time – uncertainty can creep in and while trying to remain positive and get on with life I often found myself just doing nothing as I waited for the phone to ring- that silent, uncooperative phone! Even poor hubby has found himself wondering and voicing his frustration at waiting. Now I know waiting is supposed to teach us patience which is a fruit of the spirit, but honestly I am not at the point where I feel like spiritualizing it – I just don’t want to wait anymore – I want some ANSWERS!!!

Some of you are probably wondering what I am rambling on about. We have still not heard anymore about our fostering application since the panel met last Monday. I am wishing that something would happen just to set my mind at ease. The other thing we are waiting for is an outcome on an application for a new rental home. We have spotted a lovely home just on the edge of the countryside for rent. It has about four acres of paddock and garden that it overlooks, a perfect chook house for our chickens and guinea pigs, everything we need inside, it is closer to hubby’s work and yet still close enough for the school run, train commute for Michaela.

For a long time it has been our dream to live more in the countryside but finding homes to rent like this are few and far between or totally out of our price range. This feels so good to us. The problem is that it feels good to about ten other families too. We really just have to trust that our application will find favour out of all the others. So we wait. We will probably get an answer regarding the house sometime next week. Even that is frustrating – I am itching to get packing and sorting but there is no point really just yet.

In the meantime I realize that our worries are really miniscule compared to some others around us. Friends of ours have just had their baby boy born 10 weeks prematurely and they are facing the ups and downs of each day with him in the NICU. They make the trip to the hospital daily, killing hours of time and just being there which is exhausting. They just dream of the day they can take him home and cuddle him naturally, a day where the daily routine is appreciated and longed for. They are waiting too and even as I type this I hear my words of encouragement to them echoing in my brain, “just hang in there, he will get there, the day will come.” I need to take those words and thank God that our waiting is so small in comparison – that we will not perish for having to wait. I’m trying but I guess I’m not very good at it – when hubby and I get itchy feet we get it BADLY!!

We feel that it is time for a new start – we have changed so much in the last year and now we feel it is time for a new space – a space that is not shared by an adjoining neighbour who hates us. A space that fulfils our dreams and is good for the children. A space that will inspire me to creativity.

Last week Hubby, Aaron and I went for a walk to the Wilson Botannic Gardens ( about a kilometre from our house) – we took some coffee and had a great time climbing the lookout tower. Then we went down to the bird hide to look for some local birds and walked around the lake. The turtles kept us amused for awhile before we headed home.

 

 

 

 

 

Will let you all know the outcome when we finally hear them. For now I have a lasagna in the oven, blog post done – it’s time to go and sit around the crackling fire (winter has arrived very suddenly) and enjoy my glass of wine.

Hope you all have a good day!

Geelong

On Thursday we made a long trip around the bay to Geelong so that Ethan could see his girlfriend. It is about an hour and a half drive from our home as the bay is so huge. We decided to take a drive and spend the day exploring the area – there were some markets there that I have been itching to visit. We started by dropping Ethan off in the town centre of Geelong and then we headed to a vintage market. This was a huge warehouse that was filled to the brim with antiques and vintage items. I felt like I was literally salivating at the things I saw but I couldn’t afford anything there – it was way over-priced and too expensive. So I just drooled my way around and imagined what it would be like to own some of these goodies. I really loved the old crates and suitcases.

Then we headed to Maccas for lunch as we couldn’t find anywhere else to eat being in a strange town. Once we had food in our bellies we all felt a bit better and ready to tackle the next market. The Mill Market is a big warehouse full of items – It is made up of a number of stalls owned by different people and there is one checkout point at the end. This was a great place to troll through and I saw some amazing items – some which were not too over-priced. Hami got stuck in the book section and ended up with a pile of biographies under his arm to bring home. Michaela and Zoe discovered the vintage clothes section and ended up in the 80’s dress section. They pulled out bright taffeta dresses that had shoulder pads and ruffles – how I laughed – it was like stepping into a time warp and reliving bad fashion. The girls decided they had to try a dress or two on so with much giggling and glee they modeled their dresses for me.

We also had great fun at the entrance to the Mill market with the cartoon characters at the door. The kids took turns to climb into the characters and have their photos taken. Aaron also found a side car for a motorbike.

We all had such fun shopping and exploring – except for Aaron whose whole summation of the experience was, “Can we please  go to a decent shop now.”

Then we headed down to Eastern Beach on the Waterfront where we sat in the sun and relaxed. The kids went to the park and we had a lovely walk along the waterfront and down the pier. There are a number of wooden painted characters all along the beachfront that are quite fun and creative.

Finally we collected our love-struck teenager and officially met his girlfriend who seems very sweet and well-mannered. After dropping her off we made the long trip home again. It was great to get out and explore the complete opposite side of our city. There is so much to do here in Melbourne and we haven’t even chipped the tip of the iceberg yet.

Creativity

I go through moments where I am feeling very creative and I just want time to sit down and CREATE. Usually these times are when I have my schedule jam packed with the mundane routine things that need to be done. This can leave me feeling frustrated and grumpy. The other side of the coin is probably more frustrating – needing to get creative tasks done with zero motivation or inclination. This has been me this week. I am so focused on my book right now and getting it completed that I haven’t wanted to tackle any creative tasks around the home. I have been working on my cover design for my book and it has taken many hours. I promised Michaela that I would make her a cover for her laptop as she needs to take it to Uni with her but she didn’t want a chunky bag as she already has a bag she carries her books in. We chose some fabric and it has been sitting on my dining room table for days. Eventually I knew that I could procrastinate no more. So feeling very uninspired and uncreative I set to work. Due to my lack of enthusiasm there is no tutorial for this – just a completed picture (which is probably just as well as I winged it and had no idea what I was actually doing). I quilted the fabric with a layer of batting and calico as the inside lining. I tried going around the butterflies to make it hold together and give them some definition. Then I made an envelope flap and attached it to the bag. To close it I sewed on some leather cord to make a loop and added a button to hook it over. I must say I was quite pleased with the result even though I had zero enthusiasm for the project. Take a look.

 

 

 

 

Once I have designed my covers for my book I am thinking of getting your help to decide which you think is best – I thought a little give away might inspire you to give me your opinion. More about that later.

A week ago Hubby, Aaron and I took a drive up to Emerald Lake. I absolutely love Emerald – it is in the hills and is a quaint little village – we are always on the lookout for a house to rent there with a bit of land. It is only an extra ten minutes drive for hubby to work although further to get the kids to school but would be so worth while being able to live a little more in the country. So far nothing that works for us has come up but I continue to look and dream.

We had a walk around the lake and enjoyed the sunshine.

 

Don’t you love the picture of the tree trunk in the middle – I felt like I was in an enchanted wood – it looked just like a tree face to me. (or maybe I just have a vivid imagination). What do you think??

 

Hubby reminded me that in my last post I asked what you thought of Zoe’s curtains – then I forgot to add a photo – here is a photo of the curtain print.

 

 

I also made an art work with two canvases covered in a bright, funky  fabric for her room.

Now I just need to hang them straight heehee.

My hubby is the best – I love this man to bits!! He was away last week on a school camp down in the bay. He made the effort to go into some little gift shop and buy me a present – not just any old present but one that is just my taste. He found this big white jug that had Milk printed on it and it looked a little rustic and countryish – just made for me. Then he bought me flowers to put in it – what a sweetie!! Really made my week. I took some photos of my lounge as I finally have made some new curtains from fabric I bought from the Op shop – the ugly green lounge curtains are GONE….. I can’t tell you how happy I am!!

 

So considering I haven’t felt too creative this last week I guess I did get some things done!!