It is just twenty-five days till Hami does his Ironman event. He is starting to feel nervous and apprehensive and of course he continually wonders if he has trained enough. He is looking pretty hot though ( an observation I am allowed to make!!) as he is tanned from cycling and swimming and looks so healthy. He has really worked hard these last few weeks – last weekend he did a five hour cycle and this weekend a three hour run so all is looking good. Tickets are booked, accommodation sorted and things are good to go!! A couple of weeks ago his swimsuit ripped right across his backside while he was trying to get into it – disaster for us as a good few hundred dollars are not in our budget – everything is strictly planned. I have to say I LOVE google – I googled repairing wetsuits and hey presto a bit of stormsure glue and wetsuit is repaired and strong as ever.
Beautiful Lake Taupo – see you in 23 days!!
We are all settling back into routine – Aaron happily goes off to school everyday and Zoe is enjoying High School ( she’s even stopped complaining about wearing a dress!!). The person feeling all this the most is me – I feel lost at home without Aaron here – I really miss him after having him with me all these years – empty nest syndrome has hit me hard!! Nevertheless I will get through it sniff, sniff…
I have completed editing my book and now I am running through it again to iron out all kinks before I give it to a couple of people to read – man it’s hard reading the same thing over and over – I must have read it at least five times now – although there have been a number of changes along the way. Right now I am going to give God glory for this book – it may never be viewed as literary brilliance, but to me it has been inspired from above and I have learned so much and my thinking has been shifted many times through this journey – thank you Jesus – you are incredibly generous, gracious and beautiful – I do love you so much!
We are on a new journey ourselves at the moment -God has been stirring our hearts the last six months as to what the church looks like – we haven’t always liked what we have seen at times. We are questioning the whole structure of church meetings – how relational are they really and did Jesus mean for us to build huge congregations where we sing a few songs and then one man gets up and instructs us all how to behave and interpret scripture ? – when I think of it like that I feel sure that is not how it is meant to be – a couple of meetings a week that are supposed to sustain people. We need to be the church and do life with people – not in a structured context but with integrity, reality and love above everything. Just a journey we are on personally – I don’t despise church – how can I? – it’s not a place you go to worship – it’s the people of God and I love them. I would love to see greater freedom and less religion in us all though. I am excited at where we are going in the next season – I don’t see leadership as the highest calling in His body – I would rather be free just to be myself and impact people as I go through life – it’s been a full circle journey and one I am loving so much. I have determined in my heart to hear Him and Him only for my dreams and desires – I can’t allow myself to ever be manipulated or coerced into being who I don’t want to be – not even if there is a prophetic word – unless I myself have heard from God directly first and it is a confirmation of that revelation. This sounds a bit silly doesn’t it? – you would think it sounds obvious, but when you are stuck in a structure of church and a belief system for years and years, you begin to believe some crazy things. It’s time to air out the closet and let the fresh air of God in to dust out ugly cobwebs and the clothes I have been hanging onto for years (you know, the ones you think you may fit into someday again) need to be thrown out – time for living in the revelation I have now!! I do realise of course that some people will think we have been deceived and gone off the rails but frankly I am over that too!! Others have told me they believe I have never recovered from the hurts we went through years ago in leading a church (see my Journey blog posts) but I am happy to let them believe that if it makes them feel better – in my heart I know what we are hearing from God is not tied to that – I no longer feel the need to defend myself on that front. Actually I feel freer than I have in years – I see our dreams coming to fruition this year – no more laying down our hopes for causes. In all this we love Jesus more than ever, we love His church (not just a church) and we want to make a difference wherever and however He shows us.