Cry baby…

The other day I cried …. in fact I had a good cry… on my seventeen year old daughter’s shoulder while she patted my back. Looking back now it was ridiculous and not the end of the world, but I just needed that cry. What brought it on you ask?

Well, in my previous post I was quite excited about Ethan’s subject selection and that he was voicing some interest in his future. We sat and went through all his choices carefully (well at least I did – don’t know how focused he was!!). Anyway he went off to school with his forms and saw the subject counsellor. That afternoon he arrived home with a new sheet for me to sign. None of what we discussed was on the form. Basically they told him that due to the lack of results in almost all subjects he would have to do Precal  – which just means that he won’t ever get a qualification to go to uni ( and therefore Police academy) and that he will be limited to a trade career. Why was I so upset?? Well I guess I was disappointed that his options had shrunk so drastically – after all, who knows what you want to be at 15? Most of us are still trying to figure it out later in life!! So I saw a few dreams going out the window. I have nothing against Tradies here – they earn excellent money – in fact better than hubby who has a degree – but I don’t want him looking back and regretting that he messed up at school because he didn’t like it.

So after my good cry I took a deep breath and wondered whether I should fight the  school on this. This is what God showed me:

  • It is not the end of the world!!
  • He can always get a VCE via correspondence if he needs it and is serious about studying
  • He is not passionate about studying, nor is he academic in that sense, so why make him suffer in a system that doesn’t work for him.
  • Being more hands on and learning a practical trade may be what ignites him
  • Ethan missed the first two years of school due to our immigration to NZ – he has had a lot to catch up and so it is not surprising that he doesn’t always cope with what he is faced with at school ( So I need to be a little more understanding of his abilities).
  • And finally I learned this from God …. I still think with a South African mindset – that certain jobs are not as good as others and that without education you have no future. What I know and have seen living in a different context is that  here all work is viewed as valuable and all work is rewarded well.  And most of all that with God nothing is impossible if we dream big.
So I let it go, decided to let him take this route and get his VCAL and at the end of his schooling he will have a certificate in Electrotechnology and can go on to study something in that field or become an electrician. That will definitely make his Grandpa Dennis happy – following in the family footsteps. Another lesson for me is to just let my kids be who they are and to support them in everything they choose to do.
As for me – no more crying – been there, done that and wrung out the tee-shirt!!

2 thoughts on “Cry baby…

  1. Jodes

    This was a great read and something I am passionate about. A young girl just got married from the girls home here and people were upset that she did not finish her studies first. I think we can put too much emphasis on the academic and it’s not for everyone. We need everyone working in the capacity God gives them whether that be trades, marriage, mother, professional. The world would fall apart if we all went for the academic things. God has put our uniqueness there for a reason.

  2. Elaine

    Hey, never mind Granpa Dennis, go, guy, go, you never know what is round the corner, and to be a good police officer you need all sorts of background. Not necessarily Uni! Look at me! I had nothing, except a love for reading perhaps, and I enjoyed Police training, travelled, and now I am his Gran! And I know he can do anything he wants when he gets to want it enough!
    Love you all, for who you are, not what you are!


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