Being honest with yourself sometimes is the hardest thing to do. I have the type of personality that wants to hide (or eat) when I am stressed and there are things I need to deal with but can’t face doing. These things never go away – in fact sometimes they can get worse before I will buckle down and tackle them. Why do I do it to myself? I don’t know – you would think I would learn, but sometimes it is nice to just put my head in the sand and pretend it will all go away – rather childlike behaviour I would say. The other day a friend and I went for a walk around Lake Lysterfield – I have to exercise and lose some weight over this next month before I see the doctor again and she has to exercise and lose weight due to  high blood pressure. As we puffed our way around the lake (pushing Aaron in his stroller up some huge hills) we had a good heart to heart chat and we both had to chuckle at how we respond to things. We both admitted that being honest with ourselves sometimes didn’t come easily. I relayed to her how a few times I would go out and buy a pregnancy test convinced that I must be pregnant because there was no way my tummy could have expanded so much. Actually I knew I wasn’t but I was in denial – you are just getting fat girl – do something about it!! She laughed and told me that God had spoken to her and said, “if your are truthful with yourself about your eating and acknowledge it, the truth will set you free.” Ouch, yes the truth can set us free and it does, but getting there can be a painful process. I have had to look at a few things in my life and acknowledge there are areas I have buried my feelings and not been honest. This diabetes diagnosis is actually not the end of the world for me – I have had a word from God that I will be healed, but that comes with unlocking some things in the heavenlies that I need to unlock. I believe that I firstly need to be honest with myself and the Lord and move toward making healthy changes in my life. I see this more as a learning curve of accessing and laying hold of, so that I can then see other things manifest themselves in our lives. For awhile I have been praying for God to show me how to ascend and access our inheritance as a believer,which Is for us now as well as when we go to be with him. I think that as I am honest and seek Him, so I will get the keys I am looking for. In the meantime, I have to be brutally honest with myself and tread those places that can be so uncomfortable at times – the place of looking in the mirror and seeing what needs to be changed and trusting God for strength to change them. I am off to see the dietician tomorrow and I have joined the gym, so I guess I am getting there in facing myself and setting into motion what needs to be done.


2 thoughts on “Honesty….

  1. 4maze Post author

    Thanks Tina – even writing the post was painful haha but I thought being honest out in blogland would help me to stick to a few things.


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